


Forgiveness and Forgetting

by loveavillain (copper28)



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 04:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17780801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copper28/pseuds/loveavillain
Summary: Hosea finds Sean asleep on watch, and there's a reason he reacts so harshly."The venom in Hosea’s voice wasn’t something that was heard often inside camp. Everyone forgot sometimes that this was the man who first ran with Dutch, the only man with the backbone to rein him in. It made sense there was darkness to Hosea, but Arthur had never really gotten used to seeing it."





	Forgiveness and Forgetting

**Author's Note:**

> So, I saw a video on tumblr of Hosea kicking a sleeping Sean awake and this kinda manifested on the spot. Hope you enjoy!

“Next time I’ll slit your throat myself.”

The venom in Hosea’s voice wasn’t something that was heard often inside camp. Everyone forgot sometimes that this was the man who first ran with Dutch, the only man with the backbone to rein him in. It made sense there was darkness to Hosea, but Arthur had never really gotten used to seeing it. 

Sean stuttered. He was the one holding the rifle but there was no question over who would wind up bleeding out if it came to it. 

Hosea snarled as he released Sean, pushing the man almost off his feet. He starts to march away, only to spot Arthur, “He’s useless that big sack of turd.”

“Mhm, I know that.” Arthur responds, mostly because if he didn’t agree with Hosea that anger would be taken out on him. 

Sean staggers, finding his footing. “I’m- I’m- I’m sorry!” He calls after Hosea, but the man has already stormed away. 

“Wouldn’t waste your breath.” Arthur says, adjusting in his saddle. “You and him ain’t ever gonna be friends.”

“What I ever do to him eh?” Sean says, straightening out his shirt sleeves. 

Arthur chuckled. “It ain’t what you did to him.” 

Sean looked at him, exasperated. “Now what the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

Hosea liked everyone in camp well enough, but Sean? There was a significant frostiness there. There was also one detail about Sean that everyone else in the camp lacked. 

“You tried to kill Dutch, idiot.” Arthur says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Sean throws his hands up in the air. “Aye, and the bloody bastard forgave me not ten seconds later! Come on Arthur, I’m not the only person here who’s had a go am I?”

Arthur shrugs. “Guess you could count Kieran as an O’Driscoll, but then that still ain’t Dutch specifically. They want to kill us all.” 

“God damn it. Why’s Hosea all up in arms about it still anyway, that was ages ago! All in the past!” Sean says, kicking at the dust. 

There was a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why Hosea still held that particular grudge, but if Sean was too dense to see it Arthur wasn’t going to open his eyes. “Clearly Hosea don’t see it like that.” 

Sean snorts. “Clearly.”

Arthur sighs, gently pushing his horse to move. He had actually been on his way out. “Look, if I were you I’d give him a wide berth. Just don’t speak to him if you can help it. In fact, just don’t speak.”

“Very funny Arthur, you’re a funny guy!” Sean grumbled. “Where you off to anyway?”

“No business of yours.” Arthur shouts over his shoulder, disappearing into the night. 

Sean sits himself back down on the tree, vowing to stay awake this time. The camp is fairly quiet, especially now everyone had heard Hosea’s outburst. He’d headed off towards the partially hidden scout campfire and by the sounds of it the rest of the camp had gone in the opposite direction. 

 

Lenny had been sat in the quiet of said scout campfire, but one quick look at Hosea approaching had him standing within seconds. 

“You okay?” Lenny asks the older man, shoving his pack of cards back into his pocket. 

Hosea waved a hand. “Sure. I just, need a minute.” 

Lenny hesitated, but he’d been within earshot of the little incident with Sean. “You... you sounded pretty pissed back there.” 

Hosea sighs heavily, taking a seat by the fire on one of the logs. “Well, I can’t say I was happy to find that shit stain asleep on watch.”

“Went off on him like he’d almost killed the dog.” Lenny says, and he doesn’t realise how close his made up scenario was to the real reason behind Hosea’s hatred. 

It takes every ounce of Hosea’s self control not to react with violence to the simple conversation. Lenny didn’t know, he was just trying to be nice to Hosea. 

Visibly biting his tongue, Hosea tilts his head down to stare at the flames. “If you don’t mind, Lenny. I’d rather be alone.”

Lenny is backing up before the request has even finished leaving his lips. He knew you didn’t poke an angry snake with a stick if you didn’t want to get bitten. “Of course, Mr Matthews. I’ll keep everyone away for you.” 

“Thanks Lenny. You’re a good kid.” Hosea said, the tiredness he felt seeping into his voice. 

Lenny disappeared, heading for the safety of camp.

Hosea had half an hour before his peace was disturbed, and half an hour was not long enough to cool off.

 

The footsteps are ones he knows well, which was the only reason Hosea didn’t throw anything at the approaching man. 

“Lenny said you were out here.” Dutch breaks the silence, standing across the other side of the fire. 

Hosea always liked looking at Dutch in orange light, but he can’t look at him now. If he looked at him now he’d be marching back to where Sean was no doubt asleep again and shooting the kid without hesitation. 

When Hosea doesn’t respond or look at him, Dutch moves, circling around the fire until he was behind his oldest friend.

“Will you ever forgive that poor boy?” Dutch teases, standing too close behind him. 

Hosea sighs heavily, not in the mood for taking that particular situation in any light-hearted manner. Dutch never took his dislike for Sean seriously. He wasn’t sure if it was to try and diffuse Hosea’s hatred or if he genuinely didn’t think it was a big deal but it did nothing to sooth the venom in Hosea’s veins. He considered humouring the question and answering, but it wasn’t something that came easily to him. Forgiveness sure, he could forgive a lot, but forgetting? Hosea would never forget how damn close he had been to losing Dutch forever. 

There’s a weight on his shoulder, and Hosea shifts until his back is pressed against Dutch. Dutch kneads his fingers along tense muscles, his thumb tracing a line up Hosea’s neck. He starts on both shoulders, and Hosea suddenly finds himself relaxing, all the tension being eased away. 

“He was just a kid, Hosea. No harm, no foul.” Dutch mutters, never taking his eyes off the man in front of him. He should be keeping a look out for any nosey camp members, but after the chewing out Sean got and with Lenny acting as a warning, he doubts anyone would try to get within sight of Hosea. 

“Not the point, Dutch.” Hosea says, and he tilts his head back, resting against the solid warmth Dutch’s body provided. He didn’t need the reminder that Dutch was alive and well, but... well. Maybe he did. 

Every time he looked at Sean all Hosea could see was the barrel of a rifle pressed against Dutch’s temple. He’ll never be able to wipe the cold feeling that had exploded into his chest, the way time had stood still as Dutch met his eyes and Hosea had known he was saying goodbye. That he had wanted his last moments to be with Hosea. 

He’d never not see that when he looked at Sean. 

“He nearly killed you.” Hosea whispered to the fire burning in front of him, unsure if Dutch would even hear him. 

The hands rubbing at his shoulders disappear, and then Dutch is in front of him, kneeling in the dirt so they were eye to eye. 

“Look at me.” Dutch demanded, and even on his knees he was always the one to be obeyed. Hosea lifts his head, meeting Dutch’s gaze.

He moves a hand, grasping Hosea’s jaw to make sure he wouldn’t look away. “He didn’t kill me. I’m still here. We’re okay. We are all gonna be okay.”

“I can’t just forget it, Dutch. When you-“ Hosea cuts himself off, clenching his jaw in Dutch’s grip. 

Dutch sighs, and his hand slips around to the back of Hosea’s neck, pulling them in close. “I know. It’s just, folk notice things now. The bigger the gang gets the more observant they become. Please, please make an effort to be civil with Sean. I ain’t asking for you to like him, or pretend to.”

Easier said than done. Hosea can’t control the rage that burns up inside him when he comes into contact with the idiot. “I’ll do my best to avoid him. That’s all I can promise.”

Dutch just smiles and stares at him. It’s the kind of look that is usually reserved for when they’re totally alone, the open affection the man has written across his expression is something that could easily get them both killed. 

“That’s all I ask.” Dutch says, stroking at the soft hair at the back of Hosea’s neck. 

Usually he’d jump through hoops trying to do what Dutch asked, but this time, this time Hosea wasn’t sure if it was a request he could abide by.

Dutch nods, and starts to let go of Hosea to back up out of his space.

Hosea snaps a hand out, his fingers closing around Dutch’s wrist and stopping him from pulling away. 

There’s silence for a moment, the pair of them unwilling to pull apart. 

“I can’t-“ Hosea breaks off, taking a deep shuddering breath. It kept replaying through his head. He could picture it like it was happening now. The smell of sawdust and freshly cut wood, money bags heavy on his shoulder, Dutch’s hands frozen halfway up and his rings glinting in the sunlight. The barrel of the gun left an indent against his skin, red and angry. Hosea can still see the fear in Dutch’s eyes, and he can still imagine what it would have been like if Sean had pulled the trigger. 

Dutch is waiting for him to finish, patiently rubbing gentle circles against his thigh with the hand that wasn’t threaded through Hosea’s hair.

“I can’t stop seeing it. You, and the gun, and I knew Dutch. I knew you thought you were never gonna see me again.” Hosea whispers to the dark. 

“Stay with me tonight.” Dutch says softly.

Hosea realises they’re so close now that he can feel Dutch’s breath, and he can’t bring himself to pull away. 

“We can’t.” Hosea hates it, but they can’t. The camp was too quiet, too close. They couldn’t risk it. 

Dutch doesn’t see it that way. “To hell with everyone. Stay with me.” 

Hosea knows he should refuse, but even as the words start to form in his mind, the second Dutch’s lips touch his he knows it’s a lost argument. 

Dutch kisses like his life depends on it, intense and needy, and he can never keep his hands to himself. Before Hosea knows it they’re pressed chest to chest, with Dutch still kneeling between Hosea’s legs. If anyone saw them there would be no way to explain it. But, with that empty look of fear on Dutch’s face still present in Hosea’s mind, he can’t stop. 

“You’d best never leave me.” Hosea growls as they break apart, clinging to Dutch’s waistcoat in a bid to make sure they didn’t topple off the log. 

Dutch smiles, and he trails kisses along Hosea’s jaw, down his throat. “I’ll try make sure you go first, old man.” 

Hosea chuckles, and he lets Dutch nip at his skin. “It’s a deal.” 

Dutch laughs, pulling back. “Glad that’s settled. Now, come with me so I can show you how alive we both are.” 

That was a request Hosea had no intentions of refusing.


End file.
